Death Trap
by The Outlander
Summary: Commander John Shepard wakes up in a dark room, with no idea of where he is. Soon, his loyalty to his crew members is tested in a sick game of vengeance. If he wants to save them as well as himself, sacrifices will have to be made. Written for the Aria's Afterlife October challenge. Rated M for gore and violence. Chapter 10/10 uploaded. Complete.
1. Shepard - Rude Awakening

When Shepard woke up, all he could feel in the total darkness was the cold slab of metal against his back. His head jerked to the side when he noticed he couldn't move his arms or legs. They were bound to a rusted slab of metal that stood upright. The thick chain link constraints were so tight he could scarcely feel a thing. His heart rate spiking, Shepard tried to wring himself free from the steel constraints that bound his limbs, but all he did was chafe his wrists as the metallic smell of blood blended with that of rust.

"What the fuck is this?" Shepard whispered. The words could wheeze through his raw, dry throat.

_Stay calm, John. Just a dream. Probably sleep paralysis or something._

The total darkness disappeared in an instant when a ceiling light flared up, blinding him. Shepard tried to look away, but he couldn't close his eyes no matter how much he tried. The light burnt in his eyes until his pupils contracted and it became bearable.

After straining to blink a few more times without result, Shepard craned his neck as much as possible, trying to get his bearings.

The walls were made of crumbling orange bricks. Only a solid steel door barred with an electronic lock broke the dull pattern. Then he noticed a broken porcelain sink in the far corner and a shattered mirror above it, hanging from a single nail. The rest of the room was empty except for a monitor that showed no signs of life.

The light flickered and the silence in the room was broken by loud crackling static coming from the vid screen. It lasted for only a few seconds, until the image sprang to a dark silhouette of a man he didn't recognize. His voice, however, was unmistakable.

"Shepard…"

"Illusive Man…" Shepard's words were still weak and frail. At the other end of the screen, the silhouette laughed. He had not spoken to him since the destruction of the Collector Base, which was... only a few days ago, as far as Shepard remembered. They won and took no losses, he knew that much. But where was everyone now?

"Just over a week ago," the Illusive Man began, "you led a team of the galaxy's finest into the Omega 4 Relay. Thieves, assassins, doctors, vigilantes, criminals,… Most of them alien scum. They followed you. They were loyal to you. Willing to bust through the gates of hell and take on the devil himself if you had asked.

"But in their loyalty to you, they betrayed me. As you did. They did so because they followed your example. You were their leader, their hero, their friend. But today… Today we find out exactly how loyal _you_ are to _them_."

"What… the fuck… does that mean?" Shepard coughed, but it only made his throat sting even more.

He couldn't see the Illusive Man, but he sensed his mocking grin. "You will find them in this complex. Who walks away from here alive will be entirely up to you. Their lives are in your hands. But saving them will require sacrifice. How far are you willing to go to repay their faith and loyalty, Shepard?"

"I… I'd do anything," he answered, even though the question was rhetorical. There was no way of knowing whether this was a live link or pre-recorded vid.

"I will be watching."

The moment he uttered his last word, the static returned to the screen and Shepard's binds loosened. Having no strength in his limbs, he collapsed to the floor, bruising his shoulder on the rough, dirty tiles that were chipped at the edges. After a few minutes he was able to crawl to his feet and made way towards the sink and mirror.

The porcelain nearly broke when he used it as a support so he kept his hands clear, not wanting to cut himself on the sharp edges where it had broken off.

He noticed he was wearing his usual blue Alliance outfit from the Normandy, only his trousers had gaping holes in them at the knees. When looking into the mirror he finally saw why he couldn't close his eyes. His large, round eye balls had infected edges around them and the crust was dotted with white and greenish spots of pus.

"Shit… My eye lids…" Seeing the injuries made it hurt even more, but he couldn't let pain get the better of him. Shepard inhaled as deep as possible. He couldn't figure out why he was here. He had to figure out where 'here' was, what the Illusive Man was up to and just what sick game of vengeance he had in mind.

He turned towards the door, which unlocked the second he did so. As his hand pushed it open he knew only one thing: he had to find his squad members and get them out of here alive.

But he had no idea what he was in for.


	2. Samara&Joker - Mens sana in corpore sano

The door slammed shut behind him and a bright light made him protect his eyes with his hand. He shuffled through the long narrow corridor, with metal plating on one side and bricks on the other.

His eyes felt raw and dry, but at the end he could see another door, monitor and a gun. It was lying on a silken pillow, like a royal present. His heart jumped, but as soon as he checked it, he noticed it only had enough clips for a single shot. It wouldn't do him much good against whatever the Illusive Man had in store for him next. Obviously it was meant to be used, but he didn't know how. Not yet.

He turned his attention to the monitor and saw it had two words engraved in the bottom right corner of the screen.

_Touch me._ Shepard hesitated for a split second. Was he going to get electrocuted? Was this a trap? He had no idea, but seeing as the rusty old door was closed off with thick steel barricades, he didn't have much of a choice.

As soon as his fingers touched the LED-screen, it went to static and the Illusive Man's silhouette appeared again.

"Shepard," it began, "you may not yet realize the seriousness of the situation, but that is soon about to change. Observe."

The metal wall to his left sank into the ground, revealing two separate rooms behind bars of thick steel.

"Samara! Joker!" Shepard banged his fist on the glass to raise their attention and they looked up in confusion. Samara, on the left, was enveloped in a blue biotic haze, straining to keep something up in the air. She paid Shepard little attention, keeping her mind focused on whatever she was doing. Joker, in the room on the right, was sitting on his knees, holding a data pad. The pilot scrambled to his feet and walked over to Shepard.

"Commander! What the hell is going on here?" he shouted.

"No idea," Shepard said in a soothing voice, trying to calm everybody down. "Hold on one second, I'll try to get you out of here."

"On one hand, you have Samara," the silhouette on the monitor continued, making Shepard turn back to it, "a Justicar who knows no equal. She has spent centuries tracking down criminals and punishing them for their evil deeds. Then, we have Joker. A brittle-boned shade of a man, whose only accomplishment in life is being the pilot of the _Normandy_. As you can see, your pilot and the Justicar are in a precarious situation. Hovering above Mr. Moreau's head is a gigantic block of granite, held only in place by Miss Samara's biotics. The moment her strength gives out, he will be crushed. In turn, in Jeff does not enter the exact same five digits into his data pad every minute, she will be vaporized and the rock will crush him all the same."

"What the fuck is this?" Shepard wheezed, banging the monitor in frustration.

"He's right, Shepard," Joker intervened, pointing above him. Shepard now noticed it as well, what looked like the ceiling in Joker's room was bobbing up and down and the contorted look on Samara's face made it clear she couldn't hold on much longer. "I've been entering these digits for hours now, too. Didn't want to take the risk. We got the same message when we woke up here."

"You have a gun with one bullet, Shepard," the silhouette spoke. "Firing it will either hold the block in place, or disable the bombs in Samara's room. It all depends on _who_ you choose to shoot."

"What?" Shepard and Joker said simultaneously.

"Will it be the asari matriarch you secretly admire, or will it be the pilot who has flown you to hell and back? Who lives, Shepard? Who dies? Make your choice."

"Fuck, no, I won't do this!" Shepard shouted at the monitor, throwing it from the table in frustration. It crashed to the ground with a loud bang, components spilling everywhere as its frame burst open.

"You have to choose! That's the whole point!" Samara shouted from her room at the other end of the corridor. "If you don't, we will both die here. I can't hold on much longer, which means Joker will be crushed. And if he is, he will no longer be able to enter the digits, and I will die as well. So be quick about it, and shoot me!"

Shepard's hands started shaking now that he truly realized the situation he was in. This is what the Illusive Man meant by having his loyalty tested. Apparently, Samara was offering to sacrifice herself, but even so, he could not just pull the trigger.

"_In another time. Another life."_

The words kept on going through his head. This woman, paragon of beauty and power, did not deserve to die in a shithole like this.

He watched as his subconsciousness took control of his body. His arm moved in Joker's direction and he cocked the gun.

"Shepard, what the hell are you doing?" Joker stumbled away from the bars, trying to get as much distance between them as he could. "Don't shoot me!"

"Shoot me, Shepard!" Samara insisted. "I will never forgive you if you don't! The Code will force me to kill you, do not do this to us!"

Shepard realized she was right. His arm shaking, he pointed the gun at the Justicar.

"Another time?" he asked. "Another life?"

Samara looked over at him and a faint smile appeared on her lips.

"Another time," she replied. "Another life."

The gun fired a single shot. Shepard barely even realized it. All he heard next in his haze of anger and sadness was the block clicking in place and Joker's muted thanks.


	3. Tali & Kasumi - Rat in a maze

Another narrow corridor stretched out before him. It seemed more like a balcony, looking out over a large room that resembled a maze. High walls, twisting and turning, concealed a small central chamber. Chained to the far wall was Kasumi, her hood torn to shreds, while on the opposite end of the maze Tali sat, making patterns in the layer of sand that covered the floor with her long, slender fingers. The second he came out of the next room they jumped to their feet, shouting questions, but he had no time to answer them. And he wasn't even sure if he could.

"What the hell is going on, Shep?" Kasumi kept on asking, but he motioned for her to be quiet.

"When I know, you'll know. Just hang on for now." He had to shout to make himself be heard, which only caused his vocal chords even more pain.

Shepard walked over to the small monitor that was already crackling with static. He pushed the screen and the Illusive Man's silhouette appeared, icy calm as ever.

"Shepard. In the Collector Base you had no trouble sending Miss Goto into the thermal vent, despite the risks. She did not hesitate, for she looks up to you in ways you will never understand. I wonder, did you pick her because you thought she was best suited for the job, or because you didn't dare risk the life of Tali'Zorah, the girl you have protected ever since you met her in that dark Citadel alley. Tali has always needed a suit to survive. Tonight will not be any different."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Shepard banged the monitor, already sick of these games and riddles.

"You have undoubtedly seen the maze before you. In the center lies a protective armored suit that will shield only one person from a blast. You have 90 seconds to guide the person of your choice to the center, before the bombs inside the walls detonate; but whomever you sacrifice, will hear you… and might not like your decision very much.

"So what'll it be, Shepard? Will you guide Tali into another suit? Or will you guide Kasumi out of her beloved shadows and into survival? Make your choice, Shepard. Time is short."

The silhouette disappeared and was replaced by red digits that started counting down from 90. Shepard had trouble processing what he just heard, but knew time was of the essence. Reality struck him like a wrecking ball: someone else had to die. His mind subconsciously weighed the benefits of letting either one live, but every time he did so, he felt Tali's hug on his skin, thanking him for helping her with her Pilgrimage.

_I'm sorry, Kasumi. I truly am._

Inside the maze, both women's chains had loosened and they expectantly looked at Shepard. Even from this distance, he saw them shiver in fear.

"What did it say?" Tali shouted, but Shepard did not give a straight answer. There was no time. The clock was already at 78.

"Tali, Kasumi, listen up! There are two protective suits in here that will shield you from a blast," he lied. If Kasumi had to die, he didn't want her to know of his betrayal. She did not deserve that after everything she did for him beyond Omega 4. "We have little more than a minute, so just do as I tell you, don't question my orders!"

After a sharp nod from both, Shepard started with his guidance. He sent Tali to the right, which was the fastest route to the central chamber. Kasumi was sent right as well, but that would take her to a long corridor leading away from the suit.

"Are you sure this is the right way, Shep?" the thief asked. "I'm already more than halfway across the room."

"Positive, Kasumi. Tali, take a left and then the first on your right, you're nearly there."

_45 seconds on the clock_, Shepard noticed. Tali was going to make it.

"How about me?" Kasumi asked again, sounding nearly in panic.

"Just keep going straight ahead, stop wasting time!"

Tali took another path to her right, and entered the central chamber. The heavy suit lay there, and she wasted no time putting it on. "I'm here," she screamed, sounding ecstatic.

"Great!" _32 seconds left. Sorry, Kasumi._ "Get that suit on, Tali!"

"Shep, where do I-"

Kasumi was cut off by a voice over the speakers. At deafening volume, the Illusive Man's words sounded through the room.

"_Do not believe Shepard's lies!"_

"What was that?" the hooded tech wondered out loud. "What does he mean, Shepard?"

"Nothing, just-"

"You've sent me in the wrong direction, haven't you?"

"No, I-"

Before Shepard could finish his lie, Kasumi retraced her steps with the swiftness of a leopard. sTali was already in the quit, but her opponent was getting close.

"I should've known," Kasumi screamed, repressing tears. "How could I ever compete with the cute, lovable Tali'Zorah, right?"

Shepard could no longer lie to her, but the truth was too painful to admit. With 10 seconds left, Kasumi stormed into the central chamber, seeing Tali protected and well.

"Screw you, Shep! I would've gladly died for you inside that base and this is how you repay me? I hope you fucking die in here with me!"

She punched Tali with all her might, but it barely seemed to have any impact. Shepard looked away from Kasumi's fury, his heart stinging with remorse. When the walls exploded, both Tali and Kasumi were buried under the rubble, but all that was left from the thief was a string of guts lying inside a pool of blood. Shepard saw the door on the other end of his balcony unlock. With weak knees, he pressed on, fearful of what was coming next.


	4. Thane & Mordin - Sharpen your ears

Thane and Mordin were strapped to the exact same kind of metal slab that Shepard had woken up against. Blood ran down their chin, dripping from the wounds of their sewn shut mouths. A thin blue wire ran criss-cross through their lips, making talking impossible. The moment Shepard entered the small, dank room that reeked of rust, they tried tearing their lips apart, but the pain appeared to be too great as they soon stopped and went back to a soft, unintelligible mumble.

Noticing the predicament of his friends, Shepard clenched his fists and tapped the screen of the monitor to reveal his next test. As the static crackled, he noticed a small cracked mirror against the far wall, and a small knife and satchel nailed next to it.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man's silhouette began. "These two men followed you to the Collector Base with reckless disregard of their own lives. Understandable. Both are nearing the end of their lives; one from disease, the other from old age; one needs drugs to prolong his life, while the other has done nothing but produce them during his time in this galaxy. But still, here they are, alive and breathing. The question is, will you mutilate yourself for life to give these two what will be a measly few years at most?

"Inside the bag on the far wall, you will find four syringes. Two contain a rapid poison that will eat away their insides, causing an excruciating and inevitable death. The others contain a harmless fluid. The door to the next room will only open when you have emptied at least one syringe into both Mister Krios and Doctor Solus. To find out which of the needles take a life, you will have to listen carefully while you still can. The answers are lasered onto the back of your auricles. You have 2 minutes before the door will lock permanently, and you and the others will be left here to rot!"

"Fuck!" Shepard shouted when the static crackled momentarily, before being replaced by another timer. He ran over to the wall on the far left. The second he looked into the mirror, he saw that it was too matted to make out any of his features. There was no way to cheat at this game, shattering his only hope of bending back his ears and watching the solution. He couldn't even ask Mordin and Thane since their mouths were sewn shut.

He took a glimpse at Mordin and Thane, who were both shaking their head sideways, their eyes bulging.

"You guys are fucking heroes," Shepard called over to them. "You deserve a state funeral. I'm not gonna let you die in this place."

He pulled the knife and satchel from the wall and opened it. He saw four syringes marked with a translucent fluid that looked identical. On each syringe was a different number engraved.

_50% chance I give the first one a harmless fluid.33% chance for the second one._

He had never been great with numbers, but he didn't like those odds. He took a deep breath and grabbed the knife with his right hand and his left ear with his other.

_95 seconds to go. Come on, John!_

He put the knife's edge at the base, where his earlobe was attached to his skull. Applying upward pressure, blood began streaming down his neck and soaking into his shirt as the flesh was torn apart and pain shot through his body.

Gritting his teeth, he carved slowly, making sure to take every bit of gristle along with him. He pulled at his ear, tearing apart the flesh to speed up the process. He was more than halfway and the pain had gotten so worse his vision became clouded. He could barely make out the timer.

_65 seconds…_

With a swift jerk, he ripped his ear off. Shepard screamed instinctively, but kept focused. Time was of the essence.

_5…_

The number tattooed on the back of his ear was 5. He quickly went through the satchel and recovered the syringe with the right number.

… _to find out which needles take a life…_ The voice of the Illusive Man rang through his head. This one had poison in it. He tossed as far away as possible. In order to guarantee both his friends' survival, he had to do the other one too.

_Bastard!_

This test was designed to test his pain threshold and loyalty, but he was not going to let Illusive Man win this one. Not after Kasumi and Samara. With renewed determination, he started cutting away anew, blood still gushing down his left shoulder. He was beginning to get dizzy, but he would stelp the bleeding as best he could later.

_40 seconds…_

Like a maniac he cut into his own flesh, biting his tongue to take some of the phantom pain in his other ear away. His heart rate elevated and his breathing laborious, Shepard tore his other ear away as well. The sound of the ripping flesh was deafening.

_43…_

He took the corresponding syringe and threw it away, leaving him only with syringes marked 34 and 6.

As fast as he could, he dragged himself over to his friends.

"Mordin, you first, buddy." He inserted the needle into the salarian's neck and injected him. Relief washed over him when the doctor showed no ill effects.

The gratitude and pity in Thane's black eyes as he injected him as well eased the pain.

He had saved both of them. He took off his shirt, tore it and wound it round his head to stop most of the bleeding. The pain was still unbearable, but he braced himself for what was to come.

This was merely the beginning.


	5. Garrus - Torn

"Garrus!" Shepard called out when he saw the turian in the middle of the room. His arms and legs bound by thick steel chains connected to the floor, Garrus looked up when Shepard approached.

"What am I doing here?" he asked, his speech distorted by the rings that pierced his mandibles. They were connected to a set of gears welded to both sides of the room. It did not look pretty.

The monitor was set up next to the door Shepard would have to pass through later. He crossed the cold, dark room without answering, figuring his friend would get the answers anyhow.

"Commander, answer me, what is going on?" the turian tried again, but went silent as soon as the vid sprang to life.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man's silhouette began, "of all your followers, Mister Vakarian just might be the most loyal. You are his role model, you embody everything he aspires to be. He thinks you are strong, both in mind and in body, and today we will test if his admiration for that strength is justified."

"Spirits, what is going on here?" Garrus shouted, demanding answers. Shepard put his index finger over his lips, motioning to be silent.

"Connected to Mister Vakarian's mandibles are two steel chains. When this video ends, they will be retracted by the gears on the ceiling. You can prevent this by doing something you have already done before. Remember the Tenth Street Reds, Shepard? The gang you ran with liked to leave their enemies a signature scar, caused by a Glasgow Grin. In order to avoid Mister Vakarian's face being torn apart, all you'll have to do is… put on a big smile. You have 90 seconds. Say cheese, Shepard."

_Shit!_

"Shepard, what is this, what's going on?"

Shepard walked over to Garrus and put his hands on his shoulder. Meanwhile, the gears started turning with a rusty clank, slowly raising the chains on Garrus' mandibles towards the ceiling.

"I have to mutilate myself to save you. It's the only way."

Shepard took the knife he had used to cut off his ears, and put the tip at the end of his right cheek.

"Shepard, you don't have to do this!" Garrus said, his voice much calmer. He seemed to pity his mentor for having to go through this, but Shepard shook his head.

"I have to try. I'm not going to sacrifice you in order to save a little face."

"This is not the time for puns, Shepard."

"Nope. It's mutilation time."

Shepard pressed the tip into the thick flesh of his cheek. Viscous crimson blood immediately ran from the opening wound. Shepard had clearly underestimated the pain. The ears contained much less flesh, and had also bled less.

The tip pierced his right cheek, and he almost stabbed his tongue. He applied downward pressure, but the pain was so immense he lost all strength in his arms. His left arm went limp, and Shepard used his other to pull the knife back out again.

The chains started to apply more pressure to Garrus' mandibles, and the turian was starting to groan. Hearing his friend's pain, his own strength came back to him. He put the knife's edge against the corner of his mouth and violently ripped it away. He effectively cut his mouth open and screamed so loud he tore open the flesh even further. Unfortunately, nothing happened.

_Deeper… I have to go deeper._

With only 40 seconds remaining, he placed the knife into the wound again and started a sawing motion, cutting further into his cheeks. The knife was quite blunt and he had to put on a lot of pressure before he reached the wound he had initially made with the tip of his knife.

Shepard roared so loudly from the pain his throat started aching again, but it was nothing compared to the incredible spikes of pain in his face.

"I did it!" he shouted, his words drowning in his own blood. He covered his cheeks with his hand to try and stop it, but his fingers and chest still ran red.

Meanwhile, one ring clicked loose from Garrus' mandible, while another stayed in place.

_No! I did it! _

He couldn't believe it, but if he wanted to completely free Garrus, he was going to have to cut open the other side of his face as well.

He picked the knife up again, but his knees felt weak and he sank to the ground.

"It's okay, Shepard," Garrus soothed. "It's okay. You tried."

"Not hard enough," he answered unintelligibly. With 10 seconds remaining on the clock, Garrus closed his eyes as the chain on his left mandible slowly started tearing it from his face.

When the timer reached zero, it violently pulled away, splattering Shepard in purple blood as it mixed with his own. Garrus screamed, bleeding profusely from the gaping hole in his face. Shepard used his own trousers to stop the wound in his face, but he couldn't save Garrus without bleeding to death himself.

Behind him, the door clicked open.

"I'm sorry, Garrus. I tried… I wasn't strong enough for you. Hold on, buddy. Don't bleed out. I'm gonna try and get out of here, just… Hold on!"

Tears welling up in his eyes, Shepard turned his back on his turian brother-in-arms. He pressed the cloth of his trousers against his face and stumbled out into the next room.


	6. Jack & Miranda - Shellshocked

Shepard banged on the glass with what little strength he could still muster, but neither Miranda or Jack heard him. It was too thick and probably one-way. The two women stood in the middle of their room, accompanied by a monitor; both had a strange metallic device on their bare backs, its connections welded shut. Apart from their backpacks, they were as naked as the day they were born. If not for the obvious and imminent threat, it would've been a pleasant sight, but Shepard did not find it amusing under the circumstances, even though he would walk around with half a smile carved into his flesh for the rest of his life. The flaps that had once formed his cheek weren't bleeding as badly anymore, but still hurt like a motherfucker.

Shepard turned around, facing the vid screen in his own chamber, wondering why Miranda and Jack had one as well. This situation was different from the previous ones, and there was only one way to find out exactly how.

As usual, the monitor sprang to life when he touched it. The dim lights overhead flickered, and Shepard noticed something that looked like a double-sided igniter lying on top of the screen.

"Shepard. During your mission to defeat the Collectors, you managed to win over two unlikely partners. You convinced Miranda to betray Cerberus, and you were the first person Jack ever dared to confide in."

_How the fuck does he even know all these things?_

"Despite their animosity, they put their differences aside out of respect for you. Tonight we will see how deep your respect for them goes.

"At this very moment, they are watching a video message that says they will both be executed if they do not fight each other to the death. That is only partly true. The device that is attached to their bodies can release an electrical current of 200 milliamps, but will only be triggered by the igniter you see before you."

Shepard took it from the top of the screen, and noticed that one end had a button with an 'M' on it, another one with 'J'. He clenched it in his fist, anger boiling up inside of him.

"Here is the thing, Shepard," the Illusive Man continued, "you can move through the door when either Jack or Miranda is dead. You can sit back and watch. Let them fight and see who the stronger woman is. Or you can tip the odds in either one's favor. The choice is yours. I am looking forward to your decision. I'm sure it will be a shocking one."

Shepard tried to bash the window once more to alert Jack and Miranda, but to no avail. Inside their room, Jack violently shoved Miranda in the chest, looking ready to fulfill her promise and smear the walls with her. Miranda took up a defensive stance, her biotics flaring up.

The commander looked at the igniter and considered dropping it and walking away. He wasn't sure if could let another person's coffin rest on his conscience. At least like this, it would be fair. But as soon as his fingers loosened, he clenched his fist again.

Jack's biotics ripped through Miranda's defenses, slamming her into the wall. There was no doubt Jack was the stronger biotic of the two, but Miranda had more physical strength and she knew it. She rushed forward, tackling Jack to the ground and hammered away on her face, releasing all of the pent-up anger and frustration. Jack's face started bleeding soon and by the time she managed to get Miranda off with a biotic shockwave, her left eye was black and blue and her upper lip swollen.

Miranda wanted to rush at her adversary again, but before their naked bodies entangled again, she was knocked down by a biotic throw, and her neck snapped back.

Shepard felt his thumb slide to the 'J' button. As Miranda stirred and Jack went in for the kill, he remembered how he had found comfort in Miranda's embrace and the warmth of her thighs when Samara rejected him.

But then he looked at Jack, the psychotic biotic, and a vision of the small, vulnerable weeping girl that had opened herself up to him flashed before his eyes. He couldn't even close them as he missed his eyelids. And he had too much respect for Miranda and Jack to turn his back to them as they fought for their survival.

Shepard felt a tear run down his torn cheek, stinging his wounds while Jack wrapped her tiny hand around Miranda's throat. The tattooed fingers that spelled out 'D-E-A-T-H' closed and Miranda's neck broke underneath the blue biotic glow.

Shepard turned around and flung the igniter to the far corner. He turned towards the monitor and started screaming, the pain in his face numbed by the rage.

"I will fucking get you for this! You hear me? Fuck the Reapers, I'm coming after you first when I get out of here! I will make you suffer like you've made them suffer! I will mutilate you like I mutilated myself!"

He heard the door to the next room unlock and threw the vid screen to the ground. Meanwhile, Jack sat herself down in a corner of the room, cradling her own legs, her gaze fixed upon Miranda's corpse. She too, was weeping.


	7. Jacob - Pick your poison

"Shit, Jacob…" The lay-out of the room was exactly the same as in the previous one. Impenetrable one-way glass kept Shepard apart from Jacob, who could not see or hear the commander. Only the vid screen had a table next to it with a couple of supplies.

A note was taped to a small packet that Shepard knew all too well from his days in the field.

"_A gift, for making it this far. IM."_

_Medi-gel!_

The moment he applied it on his wounds, most of the pain subsided. The wounds on his ears and mouth stopped bleeding and started knitting together much faster than regular medi-gel ever would. It wasn't as good as surgery, but it would definitely keep him alive for a little while longer.

Also on the table were two cups, filled with a strange orange liquid. Shepard kept his fingers off until he knew what they were meant for.

He turned around to face Jacob again, noticing that the man was wearing a steel armor that covered his entire upper body. It was not a good sign. He touched the monitor.

"Shepard. The man you see before you has always been quick to change allegiances. Whether it was Cerberus or the Alliance, or high school sweethearts, he always chose the side that served his own best interests.

"Tonight, you will pick his poison for him. The armor he is wearing contains spikes that will turn inwards in ten minutes. The only key to unlock it sits inside one of the two cups on the platter. Which one, you wonder? I will tell you. The blue cup contains pumpkin soup and the key. The orange cup contains a rapid poison that will cause a heart attack within seconds.

"But beware, the door to the next room will not open until both cups are empty , and if any fluid is spilled onto the floor, it will lock permanently and trigger the spiked harness. I told you I was going to test your loyalty, Shepard. Jacob would have gladly died for you inside the Collector Base, volunteering for a suicide run inside the thermal vent. Will you do the same for him? Upon your death, I will release all who have survived so far, alongside those who have not been tested. Who lives and who dies, Shepard? Where does your true loyalty lie? Make your choice."

"Oh, you fucking bastard," Shepard whispered, until the one-way glass sank into the ground, obviously triggered by the end of the video message. Jacob sprang to his feet when it happened and immediately walked over to the man he had followed into the Omega 4 Relay.

"Shepard! What the hell man, what is this?" He knocked on the armor and then pointed at his commander. "And what the hell happened to your face?"

"It's difficult to explain," Shepard began. "Look, the armor you're wearing is going to kill you." Shepard turned over to the table and picked the two cups. He tried to make sure his hands didn't shake, but that was easier said than done. "We both have to drink this." He wanted to give Jacob one of the cups, but he froze. It was time to make a choice. Kill Jacob, or commit suicide and free all the rest.

He didn't want to betray Jacob. The man was brave, powerful and an invaluable member of the team he had led to the Collector Base. But unlike Garrus or Tali, Jacob had never been a close friend. He was more distant, more focused on getting the job done, more of a subordinate than a man you would die for.

He handed the orange cup to Jacob, who sniffed it and frowned. "Why?" he asked, carefully stirring the liquid.

"At the bottom of that glass is a key," Shepard lied with a straight face, cursing his own treason and cowardice. "It'll unlock that armor of yours."

"You sure? It feels quite light and I don't hear any tinkling or anything…" He held his ear to the cup as he swirled the poison around.

"It's taped to the bottom."

"Can't we just… take the key out?"

"Do that and your armor will be activated. We'll spill some drinks once we get back to the Citadel, but don't do it now!"

Jacob's frown only went deeper. "How do you even know all this?"

"Don't you trust me?" Shepard asked. He knew he was a hypocrite for asking it. Jacob was right to distrust him, but he hadn't gone through hell, mutilation and torture just to commit suicide now.

"I don't know, Shepard, you're acting kinda weird. As if there's something you're not telling me."

"Look…" Shepard brought his own cup to his lips and downed the drink in one big gulp. It actually tasted quite nice. Pumpkin soup, as the Illusive Man said. His heart jumped a beat when he saw they key lying on the bottom. He tried his best to hide it from Jacob. "Now it's your turn, buddy. The door will open and we can get through if you drink that."

Jacob sighed. "All right man, I trust you. I have no reason not to. You always did right by me."

His team mate's honest words pierced Shepard with pangs of regret that hurt more than any blade could. As Jacob imbibed the poison he wanted to reach out and stop him, but he just stood and watched while Jacob sank to the floor with accusing eyes. He mouthed some words, but Shepard didn't understand them. Shame flooded over him like the perfect storm, destroying his spirit. He sat down on his knees and closed Jacob's eye lids, unable to further bear his look of accusation and disappointment.

"I'm sorry. So fucking sorry," he whispered. He knew he was going to have to live with this for the rest of his life and already regretted sending Jacob to his death. This wasn't war. This wasn't a mission. It was a sick game of vengeance, and Shepard had just killed someone to save his own skin.

_I had a choice… There's always a choice._

Behind him, the door unlocked. He knew he had to press on, if only to still try and save Garrus who was still bleeding out.

But even after all he had just been through, Shepard was nowhere near prepared for the horror that awaited him.


	8. Kelly- The flesh is weak

Shepard instantly recognized the otherwise feisty redhead. Kelly, wearing a strange collar around her neck, was hanging from the ceiling her hands locked inside steel manacles, her bare legs suspended in the air. The joints in her shoulders looked already broken and she barely noticed Shepard when he stepped into the small dank room.

"Kelly!" He walked over to her and cupped her cheek in his hand. She stirred, opening her eyes, and seemed to regain some of her composure when she saw who was standing in front of her.

"Have you come to save me?" she whispered through chapped lips.

"I will try, Kelly. I will try my very hardest."

_Not another Jacob. Not another Samara, Miranda, Kasumi or Garrus. Over my dead body, this time._

"I'm going to have to do something to get you out of there, but I don't know what yet," he explained. "I'm going to let this video play, and that will explain, everything okay?"

Kelly nooded as far as the collar allowed her and Shepard touched the vid screen once more, revealing the Illusive Man's silhouette. His calculating voice filled the entire chamber.

"Shepard. During the time on the _Normandy_, Kelly Chambers shamelessly flirted with you. Despite your other romantic interests you encouraged her, even though she would never win your heart. But you liked the attention. She made you feel important and you loved that she loved you. If anything, this proves that, as they say, the flesh is weak.

"Tonight, we will test if the same can be said for Miss Chambers. As you can see, she has a bomb strapped to her neck. While the explosion will be minor, it will still blow her head clean off. The only way to stop it from going off is by reaching the two keys that have been surgically inserted into her legs, near the femurs. Use whatever tools are available to you, Shepard. You have 3 minutes."

The inevitable countdown began, and Shepard cursed.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

"Do it!" Kelly screamed, realizing the gravity of the situation. "Just do it!"

"But, I don't know how!" Shepard answered, regretting he left the knife in Jacob's room earlier.

"Bite me!"

"Wh- Kelly, I'm trying to save you, what…"

"No, _bite me_! Use your teeth! Quickly!"

"Ah, fuck!"

This was no time to be squeamish. There was simply no time. Shepard sat down on his knees and clutched Kelly's right leg between his legs.

"Kelly, this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker!"

"I know. Do it!" she shouted.

Shepard placed his front teeth on the scars on her thigh. He applied pressure by using the muscles in his neck. His incisors and canines sank down into the meat under her screams and warm blood filled his mouth. He bit down further, ripping through her flesh like a psychotic bull, switching off the rational part of his brain.

He clenched her flesh between his teeth, ripping the skin open to reveal the crimson muscles underneath. Blood now sank down his throat, and he coughed, but couldn't prevent swallowing some of it. He wanted to vomit despite his empty stomach, but he kept telling himself to stay focused. This was her life he was playing with.

He wedged his fingers in between the wounds in Kelly's thigh. Her screams made his ears ring, but he split it further open and dug in his hand. As he reached the bone, he quickly found the small key and tried to carefully pull it out, but time was wasting.

"Got the first one!" he shouted and threw a glance at the countdown.

_58 seconds. Shit, I have to go faster. Much faster._

"Get the other one too!" Kelly screamed despite her agony. Her will to live was remarkable.

Like a wolf attacking its prey, Shepard once more dug his teeth into Kelly's leg, this time her other one. Her shapely thigh was ripped apart as Shepard's chin ran red with blood and his mouth filled with the slightly familiar metallic taste.

Kelly wept and screamed and shouted, trying to struggle instinctively, but Shepard wedged her leg underneath his arm so she couldn't pull away. He used his tongue to part some of the muscle so he could bite down deeper. He hooked his teeth behind her skin and violently jerked his head away. It made the sound of a sheet of paper being torn in two.

"I'm so sorry, Kelly," Shepard shouted to make himself audible over her cries. He dug in his hand again, but the key seemed to be much deeper here.

_20 seconds…_

His hand finally found the small slippery key and he jerked it out, having no time for a delicate touch. His hands shook as he got up and found the keyholes on the back of the bomb collar.

The first key went in and he turned the lock, but the second one was already caked with dried blood and resisted.

_7 seconds…_

"Come on, you son of a bitch!" Shepard shouted. Finally, the key turned to the right and the collar unlocked. He ripped it off and flung it to the side, just in time. It exploded but caused no harm in the corner. Kelly hung down her head, sobbing like someone who had just had her legs torn apart by a man she adored.

"Thank you," she mumbled through her tears. "Thank you. You saved me."

"Kelly…" He cupped her cheek again, trying to soothe her. He admired her pain threshold and determination. She was a lot stronger than he had ever suspected. "You're gonna live. You're gonna get out of here. Hold on. Just hold on until help arrives. Can you do that?"

She nodded and looked at her wounded legs, blood streaming down and dripping off her ankles.

"Reminds me of the night I lost my virginity," she joked, even in this dreadful situation. "And I guess I won't be able to give any lap dances for a while." Shepard grinned.

"If people found out how brave you were tonight, they will have no choice but to think you're awesome."

"Like you?" She looked up at him, hope glimmering in her misty eyes.

"Like me," Shepard nodded, not wanting to dash her hopes after everything she just went through. He wiped the blood off his chin and looked at the door that had just opened. There were still people to be saved. And Garrus and Kelly were still bleeding. Time was of the essence.

"I should go."


	9. Grunt - Pound of flesh

Shepard spat the blood from his mouth, not his own this time, as the door slammed shut behind him. The massive body that lay on the table in the room was unmistakable. Grunt, stripped of his armor, didn't budge, though his eyes were wide open.

The commander walked over to him, but stopped when he noticed a small hole in the wall and a metal table that was attached next to it. It had a collection of knives, cleavers, a saw and a pair of scissors. Next to the table was a low door that led into another room, but it was closed shut.

_I do not like this one bit. Grunt looks like someone who's ready for surgery and now I find this? Fuck. Where is that vid screen?_

"Shepard. Before you lies the perfect soldier. The embodiment of all that is krogan. These monstrous reptiles have plagued the galaxy for millennia, raining down terror and war upon everybody who stood in their path. But not tonight. Tonight, this krogan will experience what it is to be annihilated, to be eaten alive… but only if you fail. He has been tranquilized, but is very much aware of his surroundings. Even though he is paralyzed, he hears, sees and feels everything."

The camera switched from the Illusive Man's silhouette to a rabid varren locked inside a small cage. It was snapping its jaws at the walls, mad with hunger and fury. Shepard realized it was trapped behind the low door in this room, ready to rip apart everything it came across once it got the chance.

"A wild varren will be released within minutes to feast on his body. Only you can stop it, if you satisfy its appetite with the gift of your own flesh. Feed it through the chute to activate the scales. Two pounds should do the trick. Bon appétit, Shepard."

_What the shit?_

The screen stated to count down from 120.

_2 minutes to sacrifice… myself? My own flesh?_

He had sworn he would never let another Jacob happen. He was going to honor that pledge.

He ran over to the table, thinking he could throw the knives down the chute, but a chain link kept them attached to the table. Once again, the Illusive Man had made sure there was no way to cheat.

"Okay, John. Here goes," he said to himself, picking up the sharpest, longest knife he saw. "You can do this, you did it before." For a moment he wished he had kept his ears with him so he had at least a bit of a head start.

_Two pounds. That's a big steak. A big fucking steak._

He doubted where to cut it off. His muscular frame made it both harder and easier. It was just a matter of what he would miss next. He placed the tip of the knife at his right pec, then his bicep, his quad and ultimately his diamond-shaped calf. But he couldn't make up his mind.

"Fuck! Fuck this shit."

He grabbed a handful of a skin on his side and pulled. He pierced his skin without even thinking about it, but the pain that followed was blinding. He didn't know how much more his body could take. He had almost bled out before and if not for the gift of medi-gel, he would probably not be alive right now.

Blood gushed from the fresh wound, running down his underpants. As Shepard carved and carved, he thought back of how Grunt, Zaeed and himself had taken down the thresher maw on Tuchanka. He became the battlemaster of the perfect krogan. But it would mean nothing if he chickened out of this.

He put his fingers through the wound in his side and clasped the skin and fat underneath. He pulled with all his might and traced the edge of the wound with his knife, trying to cut off as much as possible.

He roared as the flesh came loose, and threw it down the chute. A resounding beep filled the room, acknowledging the weight, but it was not enough.

_More…_

He nearly fainted when he saw his own bowels through the gaping hole in his side. He looked at Grunt, who was still lying motionless on the table.

"Don't worry, bud. I'm not gonna let that monster eat you."

Shepard couldn't think of a worse way to die than being eaten alive and being fully aware of it. Grunt deserved better. He deserved a glorious death fighting the Reapers, surrounded by dozens of bodies of his enemies, knee-deep in their blood. Not this. Never this.

_Middle- and ring-finger. I don't need those to shoot. _

A single finger weighed a quarter of a pound, he remembered from anatomy classes in N-school. At the time it seemed like useless knowledge, but it turned out the Villa well and truly prepared you for every single situation imaginable.

He took the big pair of scissors and placed the two fingers between the blades. He squeezed down on the handles as hard as he could, severing them cleanly, cutting through both flesh and bone. The fingers fell to the table and he threw them down the chute again. Blood spurted out of his hand, but Shepard did not waste a second. He placed his other middle- and ring-finger between the scissors and squeezed down again with his mutilated hand. The pain didn't seem as bad this time, probably because his brain was already overloaded. His senses had become numb, his vision became blurry, he felt the blood drain from his face as it streamed down his wrists and dripped to the floor.

When he threw them down the chute, a green light went off and the door behind him clicked open. Grunt was saved. Shepard clutched his bleeding hands underneath his armpits to stop the bleeding, but he still bled from the wound in his side.

_It can't be much longer now…_ He had encountered almost everybody he had served with on the _Normandy_. When he opened the door to the next room, he saw letters painted on the other side.

FINAL TEST AHEAD.


	10. Zaeed - Riding shotgun

'FINAL TEST'. As encouraging as those words were, Shepard's spirits sank again when he witnessed the scene in front of him.

In the middle of the room was a very high round table with a mounted shotgun on top. The table had a button that could be pressed and it looked like the shotgun could pivot on its attachment to the table. At the other end was Zaeed, chained to a table in the same fashion as Mordin and Thane.

The table was covered with a see-through sphere of impenetrable plastic. There were only two openings, meaning you could only fire or even touch the Claymore by reaching so far in with your arm that your body was pressed against the plastic.

"Shepard," Zaeed began as soon as he saw the commander, "where the fuck are we? What is this goddamn shithole?" He struggled, trying to break his chains, but he was bound so tightly he could barely move.

"I'm not sure where we are," Shepard replied. "But I do know we're both getting the fuck out of here."

"Who did this? And… shit, boy, what happened to your hands? And your side? And your face? You look worse than I do, and that's saying something."

Shepard grinned. "Thanks for the compliment. Illusive Man did this to us. He wants to get back at us for blowing up the Collector Base."

Zaeed spat. "Fucking arsehole. I knew I shouldn't have taken his blood money. What do we have to do to get me out of this thing?"

"Only one way to find out," Shepard replied, pointing at the vid screen. He motioned for silence as he touched it.

"Shepard. During your time on the _Normandy_, people have looked up to you like a leader, and older brother, a hero, a legend… But in turn, you sought the approval of only one man. Zaeed Massani is like the father you never knew, a tough, capable, gritty man who has survived more than should be humanly possible."

"He got that right at least," Zaeed mumbled.

"Quiet!"

"However, only one of you will leave this room alive. The shotgun can assume two positions and has to be fired only once to complete your test. You can choose to shoot yourself in the face and take your chances. Mister Massani survived it once, maybe you will do the same? Or you can shoot him, but it is doubtful he will repeat his extraordinary feat of survival. This is the ultimate sacrifice, Shepard. After this, all those left alive will be set free, yourself included. Who lives? Who dies? The choice is yours."

"It's not even a choice," Zaeed shouted. "Just fucking shoot me, Shepard!"

Shepard wasn't surprised Zaeed was willing to sacrifice himself in the blink of a glass eye. He was no longer the man he had met on Omega. During their mission, Zaeed had opened up to Shepard, telling him stories of his past. In the military, as a mercenary, and even from his childhood. He was an old man who had been through everything and more; Shepard admired him, looked up to him even, and in time felt like he was the father he had never known.

"No," Shepard replied. "Not another Jacob. I won't let you die because of my cowardice." He shook his head and pressed the button on the table. The shotgun swirled around to face Shepard now. If he reached inside the sphere to get to the trigger, his head would cover up the hole and probably blow off his face.

"What do you mean 'not another Jacob'? This isn't the time to be a white knight, Shepard. We both know you're anything but that. The galaxy needs you. It needs you in the fight against the fucking Reapers. It needs you more than some old merc. So press that button and shoot my fucking head off. I should've died anyway when Vido did it."

"No."

Shepard reached inside, his forehead pushed against the edge of the opening, his blood-caked index finger on the trigger.

"Damn it, Shepard, if you do this I will fucking piss on your grave, you goddamn coward! Don't run away from the war out of some misguided sense of honor. I've lived my life. I have no regrets. So don't fall on your sword for me, Shepard, because I don't want your pity. I want you to get out of here, feed the Illusive Man his own cock and then obliterate the Reapers. You hear me, lad?"

Shepard felt his arm go limp. There was no way Zaeed would be thankful if he sacrificed himself. He pulled his finger back from the trigger and looked at the mercenary.

"I don't want to do it. There's no way you'll survive this a second time."

"Only one way to find out," Zaeed gnarled.

Shepard pushed the button on the table, making the shotgun turn towards Zaeed.

"Don't worry about it," Zaeed assured him. "It's the right thing to do and you goddamn know it."

"I don't."

"Well, you're gonna do it anyway."

Shepard sighed and reached into the sphere again.

"Just…" Zaeed began, "do me a favor would you?"

"Anything," Shepard promised.

"Fix Jessie up, if you can find her. And take her into battle for me one last time."

"I promise. When the Reapers come, the name 'Jessie' will make their synthetic spines shiver."

Zaeed smiled. "See that you do. Now… get this over with."

Shepard felt his finger slip on the trigger, his hands still covered in blood pouring from his wounds. He could barely feel them anymore. Being forced to kill a friend, a father figure, was much more painful. The fact Zaeed was at peace with it didn't help.

He wanted to close his eyes, but he couldn't. He was forced to watch as he pulled the trigger. Zaeed's face transformed into a gory mess in a fraction of a second; flesh, blood and bits of skull flew all over the room, smearing the walls.

Shepard bit his lip, longing for physical pain instead of emotional. He would've done anything to save Zaeed. Had he been forced to strangle himself with his own intestines, he would've done it. The Illusive Man probably realized that and chose to torment him in a much more effective way.

The door opened, and fresh air streamed through the room. Shepard clenched his side with his maimed hand and stumbled over to the exit. He did it. He was still alive. He hoped Garrus and Kelly would make it, too.

Joker, Tali, Thane, Mordin, Grunt and Jack were also still breathing. As soon as they got out of here, they were going to find the Illusive Man and make him pay. In blood.

_THE END_

**A/N: That's a wrap folks. Hope you enjoyed it as much as Shepard didn't. **


End file.
